Feisty. Fiery. Hot headed. Calm. Even-keeled. Cool under pressure. These are just a few of the words I’ve heard used to describe me over the years. Yet when you see them in succession, it seems like they’re talking about two different people. Maybe they are? I’m the perfect example of genetic blending. I’m most definitely a mix of a cool, calm, collected, never raises her voice mother and a passionate, expressive, a raised voice was his normal voice father. It’s only natural that I’d be both of these things, right?
Now I should elaborate on the fiery side of things. It’s not always a state of mind that I’m particularly proud of. I can get overly worked up (some might call that passionate), take things too personally (some might call that sensitive) and get a little hot under the collar (I think people just call that hot under the collar). Although there is nothing wrong with these qualities, sometimes I feel a bit of regret for my outbursts of passion (yes, that’s what we’ll call them) after they’re over.
Over the years, with the help of yoga, I’ve worked to temper some of my fiery nature. Learning to find that split second of breath before I react, making for better decision-making. However, in the last week I’ve seen both sides of my ‘nature’ come out in distinctly different situations.
Let me explain.
When I found out my scooter was stolen I was naturally upset, flustered, frustrated. But I was taken aback by how unaffected I felt by the whole thing. I know we always tell ourselves that our stuff is just stuff but then we have so much attachment toward it. In yoga we often talk about non-attachment but to talk about it verses live it are two entirely separate things. In that moment of sadness, I also felt a level of unattachment, of calm. After the initial flurry of police reports and insurance claims were filed I was proud of my ability to deal with the situation without tears or anger.
You probably know what’s coming, for all my tempered coolness in that situation I turned around and got so frustrated by something so meaningless this week that three days later I still feel ridiculous. Last weekend Michael and I decided to turn in our huge jar of coins. We didn’t want to take the coins to a Coinstar machine because they take 20% and that seemed unnecessary. Surely, we could roll the coins ourselves. As an aside, I find the fact that in a time of mobile banking and taking photos of checks as deposits that we still must count out our coins and roll them in little pieces of paper absurd.
Anyway, this dumb story is getting too long already.
When I took the coins to the bank it turned out all the penny rolls were short. How this happened is beyond me. So the woman behind the counter gave me this little plastic tube to recount all the pennies. Here I am at the bank counting out pennies, dropping them in this tube, then re-rolling them in paper.
By the fifth roll I was so frustrated that even deep breathing and trying to look at the rolling as meditative was lost on me. I started to get so fired up about this antiquated process that I finally gave up, walked back to the woman behind the counter and heatedly said there must be another way.
At which point she said no, which infuriated me even more until I told her I was going to bank elsewhere, turned on my heels and walked out of the bank with $7 of pennies trailing behind me.
Do you know how dumb I feel about the situation?
It is only now, after a couple of days, that I realize I may need to accept this feisty side of me. I will continue working to tame it but I will always have that streak of passion, always have the ability to get fired up, never being that person who is cool and collected 100% of the time. The best I can do is work to channel it in better directions when it rears its head. Being aware that it’s a part of who I am.
If you got this far, congrats. If you skimmed down to the picture, well that works too.
In celebration of the two sides to my coin, a juice that is sweet and mellow with a punch of heat when you least expect it.
Here’s to the cool and the fire.
Pineapple Jalapeño Juice (vegan, gluten-free)
- 1 cup pineapple
- ½ pear
- ½ apple
- 1 cup spinach
- Slice of jalapeno
- Knob of ginger
- Place all ingredients in a juicer.
- Pour into a pretty jar and drink right away.